Hey diary!  How are you?  Sorry for disturbing you. I know...I only looking for you when I feeling down. Don't blame me for this! That's your job, right?

I just feel depressed. I don't even know why! Life..hurmmmmm.  it difficult. GOD! please give me strength to keep on doing my license. Please give me strength to loving everyone equally. Please give me strength so that I will not loving someone so deeply that will make my heart ache. I begging you.

Relationship

I got this idea while i am driving.
i dunno why? but just it's came out~




Wake up in the morning without you by my side.
Without you trying to touch my face.
Without you grabbing my wrist and hug me again while i trying to make your breakfast.
I can't imagined it more further~

Please forgive me this time.
I will not do it again.
this was the last time, no more~
Dear my darling, i'm here.
trying to fix everything but you will not turning back.
you say " I am Sorry " but
I didn't get it~

Did you remember this place?
Did you remember this wind? can you feel it?
This was the place, our eyes meet~
I almost fell down, then you smile.
embarrassing but that was the starting of everything~

and now, this was the ending~

Korea Adventure Day 1 (21042013)

Arriving in Korea. Just me and my sister. We are Malaysian. Not really good in English and i did not know how to speak Korean. Totally zero! Thats why i called it's Adventure!

After arriving in Korea, we headed to information center and ask for direction to go to Airport Railway~ Thank you for your kindness Miss~ We manage to find that place and our first destination was Hongik University~ Is a long journey but it was adventures~

We bring too many luggage and its heavy. we are supposedly check in at 1400 but because of our early flight we arrived around 0800 in the morning, so we just store our luggage at Boa Guesthouse. What i like about Boa Guesthouse was they provide really good and excellent service for their customer. I really satisfied with them! Thank You~

They provide Surau for Muslim costumer, which was very good for us.
They provide muslim cabinet which is for muslim cooking such as pan and etc. They really considered all this kind of thing which make me very grateful to be there.

After we put our luggage, we headed to early morning market near with Hongik University area but unfortunately  we came too early so we didn't manage to shopping there..hehehehe
but we manage to take picture at Hongik University Area~ I really love the surrounding, especially in the early morning, so quiet and so cold~we walk around that area and enjoy our first day in Korea before we headed to Itaewon to eat our lunch :) Kebab Turki and it's HALAL ;)

We walk around that area before we headed back to Boa Guesthouse. It's really tired! You know why, because we new here so we not really arrived at the place we heading according to the plan~ hahahahahaha
After we came back to the guesthouse, we just clean up and rest so that day 2 will be our next adventure~

Chill Qila!

Once again. loving someone is hopeless.

i better just let it go~

i better not falling in love again~

it is better for me if i just like him~

like i like kpop artist~ hahaha

Chill Qila! 

you are not weak at all...

you can do it better~

i just wait~

be stalker! aha!

maybe it is good! hahaha

like in the movie, perhaps~

night sky - August 18,2010.

I got this idea when i sitting alone in front of my house ;) 

When we look at the sky at night, we often praise the moon and stars, but we never thought the sky was dark. Do you know that.. without the sky, the moon and the stars will not look beautiful up there?

All about the moon and the stars, they are beautiful and shining up there and dont you think the sky will disappointed with that? The sky was dark but its let the stars and the moon to show up without feeling jealousy.

Even the sky was dark, but it give us a feeling of joy and that make us thanks.. for let us see the moon and the stars. Cloud are jealous with the moon and the stars by covering them with their huge shape without thinking that we are watching.

But then, comes the wind. Its blow up the cloud to show us the moon and the stars but we never thanks to them for let us see the beautiful night sky. Then its comes to us. Its blow us with the cold wind, so cold but warm. That feeling was warm.

Thanks God for create them for us. We should be thankful to God cause let us enjoy the scene. Be thankful. You will not regret.

Amin. Thank you Allah S.W.T

Writing

when i look back in my diary~ i write so many things... but i think that was not me...confuse.
am i the one who wrote all that stuff?
when i read it back, that feeling is growing inside. i feel this before. its fun to read it again when you feel bored... i have so much story to tell, so much story to read..
some in my diary in my Samsung application, some in kakao story..some in memo and some in this blog..
i don't know...i feel relax whenever after i wrote it. doesn't matter where is it.. as long i wrote it.. i feel the pressure is release~
Amin~

This feeling

The day i realize i starting to like you is the day i not seeing you for awhile.
even i ignore but that feeling keep hiding in my heart.
even i ignore but that feeling grow faster in my heart.
i told you i like you..
do you really dont know?

look at me..
i give you my heart.
do you really not see me?

now you know that i like you, but you seems to ignore
i got headache, my heart hurting.
i know you like me too, you friends told me so.
but why you seems to ignore me?

please look at me, please hear me.
i hurting right now? why you so cruel to me?
if you don't want me, please tell me..
so i can buried my feeling towards you.
cause i don't want to be hurt anymore, because of this one sided love.

Thanks for reading this. It was my lyrics.. i create not a long time ago...
my feeling~ :)

How she become my Bestfriend

our character is same but not really same.. maybe because we have same zodiac. i understand about her but sometimes i am wrong. the first time i meet her.. i said.."She will be my friends!"
im not remember much..i remember only things that make me happy, joy,sad,feel wrong...i remember that day..she cry because she cannot accept that she 'malukan' herself via phone in conversation with that stupid guy! and i dont know how to comfort her and i end up scolding her :( i said something like 'eah!keep crying! call u mom!' i know it is not her faults but i keep doing that...
There also a moment when both of us was not talking with each other..2 weeks?? i cant remember but it feels like a years... we become sensitive..every single word was hearbroken. we did not talk and end up with pretending we are still goods. I remember..before taht we plan something like..we not talking with each other..we are like an enemy...to see reaction of our classmate and its really happens! Allah S.W.T menduga kami by make its reality. and thanks to Allah S.W.T..we more appreciate this Friendship.
Yesterday..was the day.She really far from here..Scotland for studying. it will be 2 years...Be good! i pray for your safety and health. dont forget ur pray...ur selawat.. Amin.

FORGET AND LET IT GO

When they saw you, they will said~~

 "should i talk to her?" "why her face like that?" "why she look like someone who want to eat you up?" "why she didn't say anything?"

I am not someone who will talk to you for the first time we meet cause i am afraid.

"should i greet her/him?" "what should i say?" "what would they think about me?" "should i smile to them?" i don't know~

It's always like this even right now~~
Sometimes i get jealous with someone who can express and show her feeling, her emotion bravely~cause i don't know how to do it. my weakness, i am to boyish, i cannot express my feeling very well, i always think negative at first, i am too sensitive, i doing something before i know what is right or wrong, i always imagine, i always said something that 'poop' in my mind...so many bad thing~ i can't list all of it.

Unrequited love. I always have that and that make me an expert. I always try to avoid liking someone so that i will not experience to let it go. Let it go something that not even started. It's painful and hopeless. To make myself forget for someone, is not that easy. I have to find something that can make my mind away somewhere. but once i forger, it will become a memory.

Why i writing this? I don't even know. What should i do? ahhhhh...I knew it. Lets make it like i always did. FORGET AND LET IT GO...

Hey you!

When i decide to just let it go, then you came.
why????
You make me feel shamed. thats what make me really sad. but i cant just let it to be happen any longer.
Everyone knew it but you just acting likes nothing happen!
hurrrmmm.. i cant understand it...u keep on eye on me but~~
so, what i decided to do was keep doing like nothing happen and i think it will make you happy, right?
i don't want to believe what others said i just want to heard it from you. If you brave enough, do tell me~~
but don't tell me to stop liking you cause i will stop liking you if i want too :)

Today

why i am writing this blog?
this is because, i want to let it go..
anything that give me headache, make me think so deeply in my mind, in my heart~ i just want to let it go...
that's why i writing this. 
Thank you, even i don't know who should i thanks for,
i just want to say Thank You.
Thank you because u idn't say anything cause that what make me feel peaceful and keep calm.
:)