Pasta

i love having sweet moment here.
as i watching this korean drama "pasta"
it makes me feel the sweetnest of love.
maybe it is not love that everyone wanted but it was love i want very badly.
rather than that, i want to be just like her. someone who chasing their ambition truthly, positive
in thinking, hardworking and everything she said was nice, courage
and positive. she simple minded. why cant i become just like her.
my mind was so complicated. too many things to think about. complicated!
my mom said, the way i am thinking is different than others. i always
disagree with others. i never think wheather they like it or not, i just
with what i believe and said, never though of someone else. their feeling.
why? why?!! i try and try but i am still like this. it was hard for me.
i am trying to think before i speak but it just doesnt work. i want to
think it again before i saying anything. i want to be positive.
please help me Allah! help me!!